


Easier

by agntsanvers



Series: These Kids Aren't Alright [3]
Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: Gen, along with a few other characters, alternatively titled Kim goes to therapy, but this is super kim centric, the other rangers are mentioned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 13:26:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11487321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agntsanvers/pseuds/agntsanvers
Summary: Kim takes the first step in getting help for herself and the rest of the team





	Easier

**Author's Note:**

> I'll probably be adding chapters to this as inspiration strikes
> 
> also huuuge thanks to Shan for looking over this for me and catching my dumb mistakes

The waiting room is quiet. It’s not silent, the sound of typing and the hum of the filter in the fish tank fill the room. It’s just _stifling._

Beyond a general greeting and a quick check in, the woman at the front desk hasn’t spoken to Kim.

She arrived early, trying to lessen the tight knot in her stomach. It hadn’t worked. If anything, the knot is tighter, larger.

Kim takes a deep breath, lavender filling her nose. She almost expected it to smell like a hospital.

She watches the fish, tropical and colorful and happy, swim back and forth. She heard somewhere that fish are supposed to calm people down. She thinks the doctor should get some new fish ‘cause they’re doing nothing for her.

She can hear a man yelling from the door on the left. Maybe he’d like to stare at the fish. She wishes her team were here.

Why is _she_ even here? The Rangers are _fine._ She’s fine. There is no reason for her to be here.

She thinks of Zack and how his smiles aren’t as bright anymore, about how Billy shies away from water and ropes. She thinks of Jason, of the permanent crease on his brow and the dark bags under his eyes.

She thinks of Trini’s screams. Her thrashing as they try to sleep. The way her eyes looked when she pinned Kim to a wall, blind with fear and hate and yelling about _her._

The door on the right opens, startling Kim out of her thoughts. Her anxiety spikes as she meets the doctor’s eyes as she says goodbye to a man who’s shaking. The man walks past. Kim continues to stare.

“Kimberly Hart?”

Kim nods and stands, dragging herself closer to the door. “That’s me.”

“Hi, Kim. I’m Dr. Martin,” she says as she sweeps Kimberly into the room. “Have a seat. I understand this is your first appointment with me. Have you gone to therapy before?”

“Uh, no. this is my first time.”

“Alright. I know this can feel really intimidating, but I don’t want you to worry. I’m here to help you out. I know there are weird stigmas out there about therapy, but you’re brave for taking this step and coming here.”

It seems like a throwaway platitude. Kim doesn’t feel brave. She’s here because she _can’t_ be brave. Because she’s not strong enough to push through this stuff on her own.

Dr. Martin pauses for a moment. Kim’s not sure if she’s supposed to say something. She stays silent. After a beat, Dr. Martin continues.

“So, what I’m going to do is just ask you a few questions so I can get a feel for what you need. Okay?”

Kim nods.

“Is this about the attack on Angel Grove?” At Kim’s confused look, Dr. Martin continues. “I, along with other therapists around here, have gotten an influx of new patients in the aftermath of the attacks. It’s kind of become one of my standard questions now,” she says with a smile.

Kim contemplates. It _technically_ has to do with the attacks, but Kim’s pretty sure none of Dr. Martin’s other clients have quite the same issues.

“Uh, yeah. It has to do with the attack.”

“Were you in town when it happened?”

“...yeah.”

“I had just left myself. I was about two minutes down the road when that giant gold _thing_ came walking up. I can’t imagine what it would have been like to actually be close.”

Fire. Heat. Crushing. Pain. _Hold the line._ Falling. Trini. Jason. Billy. Zack. _Trini_. _No one dies alone. I’m okay with that._ It’s not okay. It’s not okay. _No one dies-_

“Kimberly?”

“I was terrified,” Kim whispers. She doesn’t look at Dr. Martin.

“I would be worried if you weren’t,” Dr. Martin says. Kim glances at her.

“Fear isn’t a bad thing, Kimberly. It can be useful.”

Kim thinks of waking up with sweat-drenched sheets. Of Jason punching Billy in the face because he startled him.

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

“No, it doesn’t. Useful things don’t always feel good,” Dr. Martin takes a deep breath.

“Why are you here, Kimberly?” Dr. Martin asks.

“My friends and I need help. We were together when the attacks happened. When I was doing research on who to come see, your site said you could do group therapy.”

“Why else?”

“We’re all so broken. We’re all suffering but we’re all too afraid to say something. We have - we have fucking rotation schedules so we can check on each other during nightmares and still have some of us get some sleep! What we saw, what happened, it _changed_ us. It broke us,” Kim’s voice cracks and fades into a whisper. She blinks back tears.

“It’s alright, Kim. That kind of trauma isn’t easy to get over. It’s good that you have such a strong support system. I’m glad that you all are planning to come see me together. Group therapy can be very beneficial.”

Dr. Martin goes quiet, looking at Kim over her glasses. Kim fidgets.

“Why are _you_ here, Kimberly? So far you’ve told me about your friends. About _their_ hardships. None of that explains why _you,_ and not one of them, are sitting in that chair.”

Kim doesn’t answer, staring down at her hands. Dr. Martin sighs.

“What do you want to get out of these sessions?”

“What?” Kim assumes that her reason should be obvious.

“What do you want to happen?”

“I-I want to get better. I want my friends to get better.”

“Good. Now that we’ve established that, I need you to tell me why you’re here. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on with _you._ Not with your friends. _You._ I want to help you, Kimberly.”

Kim looks away. “I’m so _tired,_ “ she says, voice breaking. “I’m tired of being scared and of jumping at every noise. I’m tired of fighting my friends because -” she takes a deep breath. “Because anger is easier than the fear.”

She meets Dr. Martin’s eyes. The woman’s taken off her glasses, her blue eyes soft as she looks at Kim. She wonders if Dr. Martin would still look at her like that if she knew everything. “What else, Kimberly? Why are you here?”

Amanda’s face flashes through her mind. The scars on Trini’s neck. Billy’s face, slack and still and cold. The tears, seemingly present since she walked in, finally spill over.

“I don’t want to feel guilty anymore,” she whispers. Kim sinks further into her seat.

“I’m going to ask you a pretty stereotypical therapist question,” Dr. Martin says as she hands Kim some tissue. “How do you feel now that you’ve gotten that off your chest?”

Kim quickly takes stock of herself. The knot in her gut, present since this morning, has faded a bit. She’s worn out, which surprises her. She doesn’t think it’s been that long. A glance at the clock tells her the session’s almost over.

“I’m kind of exhausted, actually.”

Dr. Martin chuckles. “That’s not strange. Therapy, even this introductory stuff, can be draining. Do you have any questions for me? Or anything you’d like to discuss before we end?”

“No - wait. Um, so would you be able to talk to my friends and I as a group?”

“I can do that, all I ask is that they all meet with me separately beforehand.”

Kim nods absently. “Ok, good. I don’t have any other questions.”

“Well,” Dr. Martin rises. “It was nice to meet you , Kimberly, and I hope our sessions end up helping you.”

“Thanks, Dr. Martin.”

Kim stumbles from the room, nodding at the receptionist as she leaves. She’s a bit disconcerted, but she thinks Dr. Martin will be a good fit for her family.

She exits the building, snorting as she imagines Zack’s reaction to Dr. Martin. The boy would have a hopeless crush the instant he sees her. Kim kind of wants to be there for his first session, just to see whether he’ll try to flirt or just stutter his way through the entire appointment.

She sobers as she remembers the end of her session, the guilt she felt as she remembered the look of hurt and betrayal on Amanda’s face. She pulls out her phone.

Kim stares at the screen. At the number she hasn’t had the courage to erase.

 _I know I’ve said it before,_ she writes. _But I’m sorry._

The text gets read, but there’s no reply.

Kim keeps walking home. She remembers summers long gone. The warmth of the sun as she raced through the forest, her best friend close on her heels. She remembers pillow forts and movie nights. Remembers how drama camp became cheer camp. How conversations about stars and dreams turned into conversations about boys and harsh gossip.

They had both changed.

Kim looks down at her phone, at the picture of the two of them at prom. Wonders if they changed too much.

She has friends now, good friends. Family. It doesn’t change the fact that sometimes she _yearns_ for things to go back to how they were. Before she sent the picture. Before they found those fucking coins.

She just wants life to be easier.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the last part of the series that will be from Kim's POV. My plan for this series is to have around 3 works for each Ranger, the last work for each being a potentially multi-chapter fic about them going to therapy and working through their individual problems.
> 
> also let me know if this seems realistic I want to do this sorta stuff justice 
> 
> If there's anything you guys want to see in regards to the other rangers, just tell me here or on my tumblr @super-rangers cause I haven't really planned much out really...


End file.
